But being in a close relationship with someone will not fix our problems it is more likely to expose them more. It can be tempting to think that finding true love will magically solve those issues. It’s easy to imagine the kind of person we would love to be in love with, but how much effort do we expend in becoming that kind of person ourselves? We all have our own issues that we must address with God’s help in order to be the kind of people He desires us to be. Only God can truly fulfill us, so we don’t have to find romantic love to have a sense of fulfillment! None of us is perfect, and to expect another imperfect human being to meet every need is unrealistic, unhealthy, and can only lead to disappointment. Thinking that a person will or can fulfill us. Wise, godly people who know us well can also provide guidance in finding true love. The Bible has narrowed the field: our true love must be a believer who is living for the Lord (2 Corinthians 6:14–15) beyond that, God will provide wisdom and discernment (James 1:5). Whomever we choose to marry becomes the “right” one for us, because we’ve made a lifetime commitment to that person. Waiting for one’s perfect “soul mate” to show up can be a long wait. This is a lie that can keep us fearful that we’re settling for less than the best. Thinking there is only one “right” person for us. Here we will focus on a few big obstacles that we face: ![]() True romance is designed to lead to and grow within a marriage commitment (Genesis 2:24) and should be rooted in sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:22, 25–28).Īny number of things could make finding true love, according to God’s design, difficult. The Bible describes our relationship to Jesus as that of a bride and bridegroom (Matthew 9:15 Ephesians 5:32). We know for certain that Jesus was not experiencing “happy” emotions on His way to the cross (Luke 22:42–44). True love, according to the Bible, is rooted in sacrifice, commitment, and an impulse to benefit the loved one (see John 15:13). Therefore, understanding His design for love is crucial. True love is of God-in fact, He is love (1 John 4:8)-and He’s the One who put the need to love and be loved in us. The Bible gives a much different picture of love. If the kind of “love” we see demonstrated in today’s sex-saturated culture is what we’re looking for, no wonder it seems difficult to find it’s not true love we’re after but an experience that, by nature, can’t last for long. There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience good emotions toward the person we love however, if that is the foundation of the relationship, the relationship is in trouble. ![]() When “love” is shallowly rooted in pleasant emotions or physical feelings, it turns off as easily as it was turned on. In many movies and TV shows, we see characters who follow their hormones and have sex before marriage. Love is often associated with intense feelings that, in truth, are self-centered and noncommittal. Many societies use the word love very loosely. A big question to consider first is, “what is my definition of true love?” Understanding what we mean by “true love” can help us see what we’re really seeking and why it is or is not working. ![]() Finding true love can seem incredibly difficult, and it’s often hard to understand why. But most of us also want to find that special someone with whom we can share a deeper level of love. We experience different levels of love from parents, siblings, friends, and others. We all have a desire to love and be loved.
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